Sometimes the most simple question could be the hardest to answer. Take this one, anong hinahanap mo ngayon sa buhay mo?
Come to think of it, we are so into the material things these days that we forget what is the deepest desire of our hearts.
Simply being alive is not living. Passion. That's what we need to find... and when we do find it, how do we keep it?
My only wish is that we'll be totally ok because everyday seems a struggle and we try our best to be all right. Sad, but it's true. We have short-term goals and those are the things that keep us busy these days. But to have a long-term goal, that's what we need.
Already have plans until mid-year of 2012... From there, we'll see how it goes. Crossing my fingers and praying that everything turns out as planned.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Living a sporty lifestyle... Not me! :))
I've never been the athletic type... Probably because I've always considered myself as the girl who's on the sideline cheering on her friends instead of being the one in action. Also, maybe because my body type isn't suitable for any sporty activity. You may not believe it but yes, I used to be always thin then (hope I could say that until now -- hehe). Being involved in some use of my sweat glands wasn't really my thing.
Just so to prove my point, let's go through the different sections of my almost 30ish existence (eeep, it's kindda iffy seeing the Big 3-0 written -- reality now creeping in. Hehehe.)
Grade school: No memories of being athletic. Closest of being one was when I joined Girl Scouts and we had an overnight activity in school wherein we had to sleep in tents. Hmmm, does that count as being sporty? I don't think so, but at least that involved an outdoor activity. I guess I was more into Glee Club then (not particularly considered as cheering, but you get what I mean?).
High school: I only joined Basketball Club in 4th year because I wanted to be near the open grounds where we held our CAT sessions right after the Friday afternoon club. You see, I had my ulterior motives and wasn't really much into the bball thing. But it was a good experience coz I learned a trick or two on dribbling and shooting on the backboard. I only played when I had to coz I would usually ask the younger ones to play on the court while I stayed on the sidelines for strategic planning. Hmmm, the perks of being the oldest and being a Club Officer. ;-) So basically, I was more of the coach and not the player back then.
College: When I got to college, most of my friends were very outgoing. In fact, I hung out with triathletes, soccer & tennis players then. Summer of 3rd year, I took tennis class in the morning and swimming class in the afternoon. Fine, I'll have to admit that the only reason I joined tennis class was because I had a major crush with a tennis player in school. Again, I had another goal in mind and obviously, it was not to be good in that sport (hehe!). As for the swimming class, my friends were all taking it and I still needed to enroll in another PE class that year. For these reasons, swimming sessions suddenly had an appeal to me. And that was when I started to get to know people from the triathlon club... and when I started to run and join them in their training in the beach. Oh, but I was mostly their official road manager (the cheerleader part of me lives on... Hehe.).
Backtrack: In fairness, I have fond memories of my family and I jogging on Sunday mornings and having arrozcaldo after. That was way way back when I was probably still in Pre-school and I looked forward more to the arrozcaldo than the actual jogging part. And then eventually, we stopped doing it for some reason. On the other hand, I remember not being a beach person before because I had a bad encounter with a jellyfish in Batangas. As a kid, a sting isn't just a sting -- it seemed more painful back then. So I guess, I really had no solid athletic background to begin with.
Working: I was basically living a sedentary lifestyle. Exercise for me would be shopping, walking from parking to office building, climbing up the stairs in the old condo I used to rent in, and from time to time swimming during offsite activities.
Now: But now, I can say I'm a beach lover. I make it a point to go to the beach at least once a year. Not going to the beach would be sacriligious to my being (exagg, but a bit true). Starting 4th year college, the only time I wasn't able to go to the beach was in 2009. I don't know what I was thinking then! I'll just attribute that to "having limited company." As for running, I can't believe that I've already joined 3 official runs in BGC (Bonifacio Global City) in the span of 2 months. I know other hardcore runners wouldn't be too thrilled about that but for someone who never thought of joining even just one in her lifetime (yes, that's me!), that's already a BIG THING.
My first official race was the Nike 10K Night Run with my officemates. 1 hour and 50 min. To be honest, I walked most of the time. Hahaha!!! :)) But I was still proud of myself coz I was so tempted to take shortcuts when none of the marshalls were looking, but didn't. Crap, I had sore muscles for almost a week after that!
The second one was with VCF. I joined the 3K Run For Life with my sister and brother in law. I ran most of the leg and finished it after 15-20min (more likely on the 20 range). It was a fun run so they didn't have the official time log.
The most recent one was with BGC. I didn't want to join anymore but since a friend of ours was sponsoring it, I pushed through with it. I joined the 5K category this time... I was done after 40.6min. My goal was to finish at 35min so I felt that the 5min difference wasn't so bad. :)
Future: I plan on getting better at the running part. I think I have a program in place already -- 3 times a week, 30 minutes for each run. Hopefully I'll be able to stick to the program. My goal is to beat my last record at 5K, and just maybe, beat my initial 35min goal. But at the end of the day, all I really want is to shed off some of those extra fat I have... (of course, another hidden agenda in mind). Oh, is it bad to wish to be more fit? I wouldn't want to go back to being what I used to be 2 years ago -- I was really fat (relatively, considering I used to be always really thin before).
So yes, I will try my best to be sporty in between my normal sedentary lifestyle. Hopefully, the Christmas gatherings will be welcomed with a different perspective -- not to be afraid of getting bigger with all the food around this Holiday season.
Oh well, let's see how that goes in the next coming weeks... (with crossed fingers, legs, and toes).
Just so to prove my point, let's go through the different sections of my almost 30ish existence (eeep, it's kindda iffy seeing the Big 3-0 written -- reality now creeping in. Hehehe.)
Grade school: No memories of being athletic. Closest of being one was when I joined Girl Scouts and we had an overnight activity in school wherein we had to sleep in tents. Hmmm, does that count as being sporty? I don't think so, but at least that involved an outdoor activity. I guess I was more into Glee Club then (not particularly considered as cheering, but you get what I mean?).
High school: I only joined Basketball Club in 4th year because I wanted to be near the open grounds where we held our CAT sessions right after the Friday afternoon club. You see, I had my ulterior motives and wasn't really much into the bball thing. But it was a good experience coz I learned a trick or two on dribbling and shooting on the backboard. I only played when I had to coz I would usually ask the younger ones to play on the court while I stayed on the sidelines for strategic planning. Hmmm, the perks of being the oldest and being a Club Officer. ;-) So basically, I was more of the coach and not the player back then.
College: When I got to college, most of my friends were very outgoing. In fact, I hung out with triathletes, soccer & tennis players then. Summer of 3rd year, I took tennis class in the morning and swimming class in the afternoon. Fine, I'll have to admit that the only reason I joined tennis class was because I had a major crush with a tennis player in school. Again, I had another goal in mind and obviously, it was not to be good in that sport (hehe!). As for the swimming class, my friends were all taking it and I still needed to enroll in another PE class that year. For these reasons, swimming sessions suddenly had an appeal to me. And that was when I started to get to know people from the triathlon club... and when I started to run and join them in their training in the beach. Oh, but I was mostly their official road manager (the cheerleader part of me lives on... Hehe.).
Backtrack: In fairness, I have fond memories of my family and I jogging on Sunday mornings and having arrozcaldo after. That was way way back when I was probably still in Pre-school and I looked forward more to the arrozcaldo than the actual jogging part. And then eventually, we stopped doing it for some reason. On the other hand, I remember not being a beach person before because I had a bad encounter with a jellyfish in Batangas. As a kid, a sting isn't just a sting -- it seemed more painful back then. So I guess, I really had no solid athletic background to begin with.
Working: I was basically living a sedentary lifestyle. Exercise for me would be shopping, walking from parking to office building, climbing up the stairs in the old condo I used to rent in, and from time to time swimming during offsite activities.
Now: But now, I can say I'm a beach lover. I make it a point to go to the beach at least once a year. Not going to the beach would be sacriligious to my being (exagg, but a bit true). Starting 4th year college, the only time I wasn't able to go to the beach was in 2009. I don't know what I was thinking then! I'll just attribute that to "having limited company." As for running, I can't believe that I've already joined 3 official runs in BGC (Bonifacio Global City) in the span of 2 months. I know other hardcore runners wouldn't be too thrilled about that but for someone who never thought of joining even just one in her lifetime (yes, that's me!), that's already a BIG THING.
My first official race was the Nike 10K Night Run with my officemates. 1 hour and 50 min. To be honest, I walked most of the time. Hahaha!!! :)) But I was still proud of myself coz I was so tempted to take shortcuts when none of the marshalls were looking, but didn't. Crap, I had sore muscles for almost a week after that!
The second one was with VCF. I joined the 3K Run For Life with my sister and brother in law. I ran most of the leg and finished it after 15-20min (more likely on the 20 range). It was a fun run so they didn't have the official time log.
The most recent one was with BGC. I didn't want to join anymore but since a friend of ours was sponsoring it, I pushed through with it. I joined the 5K category this time... I was done after 40.6min. My goal was to finish at 35min so I felt that the 5min difference wasn't so bad. :)
Future: I plan on getting better at the running part. I think I have a program in place already -- 3 times a week, 30 minutes for each run. Hopefully I'll be able to stick to the program. My goal is to beat my last record at 5K, and just maybe, beat my initial 35min goal. But at the end of the day, all I really want is to shed off some of those extra fat I have... (of course, another hidden agenda in mind). Oh, is it bad to wish to be more fit? I wouldn't want to go back to being what I used to be 2 years ago -- I was really fat (relatively, considering I used to be always really thin before).
So yes, I will try my best to be sporty in between my normal sedentary lifestyle. Hopefully, the Christmas gatherings will be welcomed with a different perspective -- not to be afraid of getting bigger with all the food around this Holiday season.
Oh well, let's see how that goes in the next coming weeks... (with crossed fingers, legs, and toes).
Monday, November 14, 2011
Thoughts on my way home...
I think I'm not yet ready for another relationship. I know it's been a while and in my heart I know I should be, but there's just too much stuff going on in my head that I still need to process. And I think I need more time to be able to do that. But I also know that next year would be different and I'm very much looking forward to it already. Yes, I know -- that's the hopeful romantic in me talking. <3
For the past months this year that I've been going out, I haven't realized then that I have yet to process things first on my own. Just by processing we make sure that whatever it is that's going to happen next, we'll be completely emotionally available already. Most of the time our hearts deceive us into thinking that we've already cleansed ourselves with all the baggage of the past, only to know that behind the cool and calm facade is a raging heart ready to get loose.
Yes, I've also done my fair share of crazy stuff and have worn my heart on my sleeves most of the time in the past. But through it all, I definitely didn't have any regrets because these are the main reasons why I feel I'm much stronger now than I used to be. On the other hand, there are others who find themselves hopping from one relationship to another, not even trying to process what went wrong. What they seem to be missing out is that being able to determine the faults and learning from the past would be the best take away from them all.
And that, I'm beginning to understand and will be taking into heart and mind in the coming days...
Sunday, November 13, 2011
"Spark" of the moment trips...
It's always fun to go on trips. It's something that I always look forward to. In fact, I usually make sure that I have at least 2 trips every year.
See, I've always been the "plan the trip" type of person. I like making itineraries and checking out the best places to go to in the vicinity -- so basically, I'm really not much of a backpacker. However recently, I've been hanging out with people who enjoy the "live for the moment" kind of trips and I'm beginning to like the idea of doing more of that myself.
This year, I've managed to go on several road trips already. Each of them proved to be so much fun in different ways considering that I've gone out with different group of friends. Actually, the unplanned trips turned out to be the most memorable ones. Maybe because we didn't have much time to plan them and so everything turned out to be an unexpected adventure.
Punta Fuego early this year was so much fun with the girls and the Zambales trip with the "groupie" was great too. Baguio getaway was a last minute planned trip with office friends and also turned out to be an ukay ukay challenge for us girls. The boys were just having fun checking out the other girls though. Niiice. :) On the other hand, Balai Isabel trip was a soul searching endeavor while Galera was a different kind of beach trip. Lastly, the recent drive to Bataan was a nice reminder of the old ways and the past. Next on the list is the much awaited HK trip with my family for the new year. :)
Actually, I usually don't go on trips with people I haven't been friends with for some time already but these trips made me realize that it's also nice going out of your comfort zone and meeting new people. That way, you also find out more about yourself when dealing with uncertainties.
For 2012, I promise to explore new places and meet more people... As early as now, my cousin and I already made a pact to go on an out of town and out of the country trip. We're looking at Bellaroca or Palawan and then Cambodia or Malaysia. I'm pretty sure those would be so much fun!
One thing I know, it's not so bad being single after all -- having the perks of enjoying spur of the moment trips. However, I'm also hopeful that by next year I'll get a bonus -- a "spark" of the moment trip. <3 :)
See, I've always been the "plan the trip" type of person. I like making itineraries and checking out the best places to go to in the vicinity -- so basically, I'm really not much of a backpacker. However recently, I've been hanging out with people who enjoy the "live for the moment" kind of trips and I'm beginning to like the idea of doing more of that myself.
This year, I've managed to go on several road trips already. Each of them proved to be so much fun in different ways considering that I've gone out with different group of friends. Actually, the unplanned trips turned out to be the most memorable ones. Maybe because we didn't have much time to plan them and so everything turned out to be an unexpected adventure.
 |
| Punta Fuego |
 |
| Team B in Baguio |
 |
| Zambales Beach |
Actually, I usually don't go on trips with people I haven't been friends with for some time already but these trips made me realize that it's also nice going out of your comfort zone and meeting new people. That way, you also find out more about yourself when dealing with uncertainties.
For 2012, I promise to explore new places and meet more people... As early as now, my cousin and I already made a pact to go on an out of town and out of the country trip. We're looking at Bellaroca or Palawan and then Cambodia or Malaysia. I'm pretty sure those would be so much fun!
One thing I know, it's not so bad being single after all -- having the perks of enjoying spur of the moment trips. However, I'm also hopeful that by next year I'll get a bonus -- a "spark" of the moment trip. <3 :)
 |
| Nueva Ecija |
 |
| Club Balai Isabel, Batangas |
 |
| Las Casas, Bataan |
 |
| Puerto Galera |
Monday, July 18, 2011
Lord, if only you could give me this one chance...
I'd take it. :)
and the rest would be history...
Brevior saltare cum deformibus mulieribus est vito. Life is too short to dance with ugly men.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Wrong side of the bed.
I think I woke up at the wrong side of the bed today coz the first thing I thought of was how I wanted to hate someone so badly. And it didn't feel good. Not at all. It just reminded me more of the hurts.
I'd like to think I'm more than okay now. Honestly, it's a bit traumatizing and thus it seems a bit hard for me to think that I could actually give my 100% to that someone I've recently met or I am bound to meet soon.
Never really thought that someone could drain out the best in me and have no sense of remorse. Actually, it's surprising to see that there's even no sense of social ethics. If only the world could allow someone to teleport...
It's Wednesday but I'm hoping to teleport myself to the long weekend. Beach/House Party would be a good place to start. And hopefully no more waking up at the wrong side of the bed. It's such a nightmare.
I'd like to think I'm more than okay now. Honestly, it's a bit traumatizing and thus it seems a bit hard for me to think that I could actually give my 100% to that someone I've recently met or I am bound to meet soon.
Never really thought that someone could drain out the best in me and have no sense of remorse. Actually, it's surprising to see that there's even no sense of social ethics. If only the world could allow someone to teleport...
It's Wednesday but I'm hoping to teleport myself to the long weekend. Beach/House Party would be a good place to start. And hopefully no more waking up at the wrong side of the bed. It's such a nightmare.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Blacklisted.
whatever i said before still stands. Lord, i may have forgiven but i will never forget.
my real friends know that i'm not the type who gets angry easily. true. i feel that it's a waste of energy to feel angry at a person for the longest time. however, one thing i've learned (and i learned this the hard way) is that when you don't get angry, people just take you for granted and they take advantage of you.
so here i am, declaring that you've been cruel. you were very good at turning the tables on me. you never even had the balls to defend me when a lot of stories went around. and now you want us to be friends? that's crap.
if you really want us to be friends, i wish that i don't get to see you anymore. make yourself invisible. go the other way if you must. leave if you could. just maybe, i'll be able to forget. for now, you're definitely still blacklisted.
my real friends know that i'm not the type who gets angry easily. true. i feel that it's a waste of energy to feel angry at a person for the longest time. however, one thing i've learned (and i learned this the hard way) is that when you don't get angry, people just take you for granted and they take advantage of you.
so here i am, declaring that you've been cruel. you were very good at turning the tables on me. you never even had the balls to defend me when a lot of stories went around. and now you want us to be friends? that's crap.
if you really want us to be friends, i wish that i don't get to see you anymore. make yourself invisible. go the other way if you must. leave if you could. just maybe, i'll be able to forget. for now, you're definitely still blacklisted.
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